Hi, hey, hello, it’s me, the extremely online™ Millennial. Here’s a peek at some of my wittier moments.

ladies, if he:
- fights for social justice
- never takes a day off
- always asks for consent
- texts you back right away
that's not your man, that's @resistbot
— Libby (@edean11) June 9, 2020

Quarantine Day 1: I’ll wake up early every morning, meditate, exercise, call into my meetings, cook a new recipe, work on that 1,000+ piece puzzle, and go to bed early!

Quarantine Day ???: Time no longer exists and I am naked in bed with only my phone and 15 pizza boxes. pic.twitter.com/s95Bemq4sX
— Visible (@Visible) May 9, 2020

I don’t care how long it takes, I am going to text you “here” and wait for you to come out.
— Visible (@Visible) November 26, 2019

Website: You must be of legal age to view this content. Please verify your birth year.
10-year-old me: 1209 B.C.
— Visible (@Visible) December 1, 2019

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (2019 Edition)*
1. Self-fulfillment needs
2. Psychological needs
3. Basic needs
4. WiFi
*Not in that order
— Visible (@Visible) September 16, 2019

🙋‍♂️
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) December 15, 2017

Stunning view. The mountains are pretty nice, too. 😉 https://t.co/2lGfgmmTOt
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) August 7, 2017

Honesty is our turn-on. Our turn-offs include “innocent” messages with not-so-innocent hidden agendas. pic.twitter.com/aYhHXRdant
— Visible (@Visible) January 8, 2020

"Real banana for scale." — ancient Internet proverb pic.twitter.com/RdVqVdUec2
— Visible (@Visible) November 15, 2019

Preach the real stuff, ditch the fake fluff. We’ll never subject you to sketchy contracts and hidden fees because YOU 👏 DESERVE 👏 BETTER👏 pic.twitter.com/WM3krgMnTV
— Visible (@Visible) August 28, 2019

July horoscopes are IN! Here’s how much you’ll pay for phone service based on your sign:
Aries: $40/mo
Taurus: $40/mo
Gemini: $40/mo
Cancer: $40/mo
Leo: $40/mo
Virgo: $40/mo
Libra: $40/mo
Scorpio: $40/mo
Sagittarius: $40/mo
Capricorn: $40/mo
Aquarius: $40/mo
Pisces: $40/mo
— Visible (@Visible) July 1, 2019

No longer accepting podcast recommendations.
— Visible (@Visible) July 2, 2019

Modesty really isn't our thing. 💅
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) December 20, 2017

This one's just for you, Darin. Enjoy! 😎 pic.twitter.com/RfR6GBf6dg
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) August 11, 2017

These past 365 days wouldn’t have been possible without YOU, our beloved family, so here’s a cyber cheers to the Visible community. Next stop: 2020… you get it. pic.twitter.com/vhMU2DfQ7m
— Visible (@Visible) December 31, 2019

Have you or a loved one been a victim of the Ghosting Epidemic? Watch out for these dangerous warning signs:
- Alarming amount of food delivery orders
- Excessive TV binge-watching
- Crying at 2:34 AM
- Panicked texts saying “WHY HAVEN’T THEY REPLIED”
— Visible (@Visible) October 30, 2019

On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.
(Mean Girls, 2004)

On October 3rd, he asked his phone’s virtual assistant what day it was.
(Mean Girls, 2019)
— Visible (@Visible) October 3, 2019

Welcome to the Dark Side.
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) August 2, 2017

It’s hard to be HUMBLE when you’ve got 7 #GRAMMYs nominations and the best car. 💅 https://t.co/cFswJrwAnh
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) November 28, 2017

When you look that good topless, you're sure to turn a few heads.
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) August 3, 2017

Ordering breakfast/lunch/dinner/second dinner online because physical human contact is too much to handle right now.
— Visible (@Visible) January 1, 2020

Do Not Disturb is more than a phone setting, it's a way of life.
— Visible (@Visible) October 4, 2019

Unofficial Terms & Conditions:
🔥 Don't have a username with "69" in it 🔥
— Visible (@Visible) October 2, 2019

If your IG Stories looks like this:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Don’t expect me to watch.
— Visible (@Visible) July 27, 2019

G550 = automatic right swipe.
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) December 4, 2017

Other Benz or other other Benz? #QuestionsINeedAnswersTo pic.twitter.com/Wk17pUvdE5
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) September 20, 2017

Doesn’t look a day over 2016. 😉 https://t.co/AVVAiTQYqp
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) June 2, 2017

Psh, the AMG C63 IS a hot model. 😍
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) August 3, 2017

We prefer to celebrate #NationalCoffeeDay with a mocha. A Mocha Black Maybach, that is. pic.twitter.com/c7svlBzRtE
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) September 29, 2017

"I got mad friends with Benz’s." 😉
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) July 25, 2017

That is one good looking stadium, if we do say so ourselves. 🙌 #MBStadium
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) August 15, 2017

A dragon can't be tamed. 🐉🔥
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) October 23, 2017

When you go to pick up your friend and they take forever. 📸 She’s Mercedes, thanks for the tag. pic.twitter.com/4MYngbz5qR
— Mercedes-Benz USAㅤ (@MBUSA) July 13, 2017